Pilot Instructor Killed in Collision Called Experienced.
This was the headline in the paper here when Laura died in 1996. The accident was a terrible tradgey.
My friends know how this affected me. Her and I were very much in love with one another and even though we loved each other we ended up divorced 4 months before her death. Had she not died, I am sure we would have ended up back together cause of our love.
I am writing this today cause, today would have been our 15th Anniversary had I not been so damn hard headed and gave our marriage another try. Now, 12 years later I still have troubles coping with her loss. While I was not there to intervene in what happened in that cockpit I am sure as I am here today that I would have been with them or she would have not been there that day. I get so frustrated at this time of the year cause I go through memories of getting the call that she had died, going and telling her mother what happened and assisting with the funeral. Even though I know better, I still get mad at myself for letting it happen. I loved her so much and still do to this day.
As the days after her passing went, I realized how much our lived were intertwined. I had always had the dream to fly airplanes and helicopters and her dream was to be a pilot as well. I have never met anyone else that ever had the same desire that I did. Her memories are with me every day. My work and my interest are aviation. So, I remember her every day. At times I just want to give up on my dreams and interests so I can put these feelings aside and do something else with my life. However I find myself drawn back to aviation. I do not know if it is her influence on me or her spirit not letting me give up on it. So I just go on about my life and continue. I do not know If I will ever get to where I would like to be.
The one thing I am thankfull for is that several years later I was blessed enough to have a daughter. I hope that I am able to pass on to her the love of aviation that I have been blessed with and she can share the passion of it and achieve what Laura did not.
Tonight, I sat down and watched the videos of our wedding and broke down and cried like when I spent the night in Quincy after taking her mother to the airport where the accident happened. That night is when all my mistakes with our relationship hit me and hit me hard.
I will finish up with saying, I believe I will be alright another year as in all the years since her passing. All I have to do is make it past thanksgiving and it will be ok.
A special note to Laura I know she knows what I am going through, I have always loved you since the first day i saw you in the flying club and you avoided me. If god never allows me another word out of my mouth, the last ones I will say is " I love you Laura"
